Dont Funk With My Heart
by DawnFire5600
Summary: It is Willows wedding day to Edward Cullen but her spells are more powerful than she thought...


It was a baeutiful day in Sunnydale CA Willow Rosennbuarger woke up amd run to her window. The birds was singins and thingz didnent look to bad seeing how the town got blew up a few months ago. All the peeps was living in trailors while the stuff was getting biult agin but Willow dident care abut that, this was going 2 b the big day for her an the love of her life.

"I gotta feelin that 2nits gonaa b a good good nite, willo sang along wit tge happy little birds. 2day she was going tp marry Edward Cullen!1111111111

Just then there was a knock on dior and it was her best freiend Buffy. "Willo i dont think u shgould do this thong marry a vampire, buffy says sadly.

'buffy u are jaleous of me and edward becase we have true love and spik dies and angle dont come arond here no more,' willow told her. "no iam not jealuos willow, i just dont tinkk it is safe 4 u to b marrying a vamp whem i should b steaking him 2 death insteaaad!'

Ther is a nother knock on da door and its willows other bff zander holyfeld. he has 2 wear an eye pach cos of when he lost his yey when mike tison punced it out. 'willo i thank buffy is riht, u need 2 thik abit this, wha if he bites u n makes u a vamp 2?'

"Dont worry abort me zander holyfeld, i had 2 go thru 2 muhc 2 get here 2day. 1st i had 2 get that dumazz bella swoon out da way. so i turn her unto a plattapus. den i had 2 get edward 2 love me so i had 2 mak a spell 4 dat 2. he will nevar bite me n always love me wile i waer this blue haert necklcae that holds da key 2 da spell.'

'wilo dont u think ist wired that he can go out in da day timelike norml peeps but he gets so shiny asks buffy she looks mad. 'he shud fry in da sun like other vamps'

'shake n bake' sez zander holyfeld n does a snoopy dance

'edwaerd dos not shake" willow says ' now r u gonna hep me get dresssed or not'

'ok we will hlep u,' says buffy'but u shud still b careful'

buffy bruses out willos shiny red hair and helps her n2 her weeding dress. it looks just like the dress sara wuz waring in labrinth wen she dances wit jareth vader. jareth vader is so hott n those ttite pantz n boots. the dres is shiny white satan wit bigg sleeves an alot of flours n ribbings and a bigg skirt like a cupcaek. nextt she puts on glass sleepers n a dimond crown wit a loong bale. 'dam gurl u luk tite, sez buffe. what do u wnt us 2 waer"

'1st of all where iz don" asks willo

'i am rite here sez don. nobdy evar notics me cos imma not a reel person'

'don y do u get so down un urzelf, willo sez. den she wayves her magic wand an don is wering a beasrutiful pink dress lyke da one glinda da good witch of da north wares in da blizzarde of ozz. she has big slleves an shiny lace all over an a big gold crown and a big fluufy skirt lik a pink igloo.

'what abot us sez zander holyfeld

'ok u guyz can look good 2' sez willo and wayaves her wand som more. buffy is in a grate green dres lik scarelet johnson in gone wit da wind... but made by magic not curtins! it is shiny velvelt and has rockin fringe all ova it wit long sleevs an a bigg skirt like a muffin top and a lil hat wit chikn feet on it. 'i luk grate willo, what if edware likes me better than u? asks buffey. 'that cant happey while i am waering the nekclace, buggy, willow tellsher.

'u 4got someboy, sez zander holyfeld

'i didnet 4get u zander holyfeld, sez willwow and shakes her wonton. zander holyfeld is baeautifel in a yello drees like princess bell in beerty and the breast. it is shiny satan that comes off the shuoldres wit a bigg skirt lyke a golden shower. lastly she fixes his yey so he doesent look lyke a pirat nemoreand is beastiful lyke ever1 else. now we can go 2 da weeding, sex willow explicily. ever1 gets in2 the coach bag and rides off.

don sex willo i thot u were a thespian. y r u marry a man?

u c dion i am not a thespian nemore, willwow tells her

i c, sez don but y dont u like gurls nemore

u c doink gurls r not shiny like edware cullen and even tho i am a porful witch he has cast a spell on me a spell of love lyke no othar now do u get it dahmer sez willwow.

willwow i think dis will make ur old gf mad, sez buffy she is playing wit her kewl hat wit da chickn feet.

'i dont care buufy let her get mad, she can go fry up a can of tuna n eatz it cold, sez willwow.

meanwhile the powers of the blue hart neklace were bouncin over the contryside. willos spell was more powderful than even she kneww

applejack u hafta stop da coach here!11 ylled willwow 'we hafta pick up edwaward."

applejacl and the other ponies sttped the coach an picked up edsward. he was looking supa dupa fly in a outfirt just like jareth vaders

"i hath cum 2 make my way in the wurld wit the love of my life. i lovest u willwow rowsinger.'

he is so sexxxay' buffy n don sighd

'kep ur hands off my man' says willwow

'u do not hast 2 worm them away from me my loev' sez edwaerd 'i hast only yeys 4 u.'

suddenly applejak n starlite stared screaming at the front of da coach bag. 'o noes it is some1 else in love wit u willwow'

'i new dis wold happen' wllwow sez angerly. 'who is there'

'it's me yugi. i now i am yonger then u willo but u have 2 bleive that i am the rite man 4 u.'

'ygoh u look like gothic lisa simpson. get away from muy coach.'

'i will take u away form here sez yugo n grabs her n draggs her off on a blue yeys white dragging and stars fllyin away.

'no u cannot takest this the gratest love of all' screans eddward and he pulls out his tommie gun n shoots yugo n the draggin 2 death. but willowo is fallin thru da sky n edwared has 2 save her!11

noes1111111111111 scrams ewad an flys thru da air with da magaical powders of willwow. he can fly like supaman but he is still rockin da jaeth vader outfit

'edwad u savced me' sez willwo 'i love u so much'

'not as much as i lovest u' sexz edwasrd n flys wit her back 2 da coach

suddenly the ponies start scrming again n willwow is mad. 'now what?"

'oh noes it is he man sez applehack

'cum away wit me 2 castle gray skull fuke says he man then he grabs willwow an thwos her on the back of his battle cat

'unhand me u hermaphrodite' yells willwow

'save her edware' screams buffy n don n zander holyfeld

edwasd beets he man 2 death n feeds him 2 da battle cat.

'me ouch' sez zander holyfeld

'i locust u willowow moer then thee nite loves da moon sez esewer shinning in da sun.

'cum wit us 2 da weeding battle cat, it will look so kewl if i ride dwon the isle on ur back,' sez willoe so battle cat sez ok and hocks up a hare ball wit he mans bonerz in it and ever1 gos on there way.

be4 2 long da poemies are scraming agin. 'iam sooooo sick of dis' shouts willwowo 'who goes there'

'its me rosey adenoidal ur old gf how cum u r not a thespian nemore?

'rosye u r 2 dam ugly 2 live on my planet n iam board now' sez wukkow

'i shall killest her my darkling' sez worded

'no i am just goin 2 turn her in2 a big steemy pole of poop' so she did. but then perry da plattapus showed up and stared chasing ewad. he was bella swoon!111

'noooooooo u cant have edweed back u green bich' willpop yellls n waves her wond

she imprissins peery in da pill 0f poop that used to b rosey and perry starts 2 stinkk. the plattapuss past out from da stink. then battle cat ate him. but he spits out da hat.

so ever1 arrves at the weeding place. all the guessts r wating so willwow rides doen the isle on battel cat side sattle. she sings i had teh time of my life da black yeyd pees version as she goes. ever1 gasps she is soooooooo beatifel.

1 last surpirze was wating at teh alturd. it was jack sparrro! ''know u will cum wit me 2 davy joneses lockup!''' he cankles and garbs willwow but battle cat eats him 2. but he stared chocking on da drdloks n znader holyfeled had 2 giv him the hamluck manover. 'my weeding is ruined'111111111111111 willowow scrammed

'no its ruined now' sez buffy n drives a steak thru edwads hart

scarams willwow!1

'i willst lovest thou forever my most darkling wilhoe' sez esewer wit hus dying breadth

than he turds in2 a pole of dirt

'how coud u do it buufy' willwowo sobs sardinly

'i had 2 do it 2 save u cos he tryed 2 reap me willwow hes a bad vamp even tho hes sooooo smexxxay'

'u r a good frend after all bffy' sez wiwllpop n ever1 rode back 2 sunnydale ca on da back of battel cat n donutted da cake 2 da homeliest.

PS

willwow bacame a thespian again don marryed zander holyfeld n buffy bacame a godette worshippined by millons.


End file.
